I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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