Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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