and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do herpes really smell.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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