At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
