not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
