Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
