girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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