He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
