Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
