i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
