i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
of course. lets lasso hookers.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
