I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
