So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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