We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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