in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
