I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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