This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
