You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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