Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
