she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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