So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
