This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
