but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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