i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
