i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I will die if light touches me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
