She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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