Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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