The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
