he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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