So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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