if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is the high leading the old right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
