fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
