She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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