I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
