when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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