You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
MIDGETS
????
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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