it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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