Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
