i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can you bring me the toilet please
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
