We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
