What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
