The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
