Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
