Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Holy sore nipples Batman
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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