She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
