I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
