I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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