Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
