Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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