She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
