Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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