What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
